There are a few CNA’s that work here that are so rude to the residents. I know of one because the resident complains about her all the time to me. How she yells at the resident and makes her feel like a child. That is not cool. This resident is always telling me, “You’re so kind to me.” And she always asks if I’m going to put her to bed. She is such a sweet lady I don’t know how anyone could be rude to her. I don’t understand how anyone can be rude to people, period. If someone was rude to me like I know she is to residents I would tell her to fuck off. One of the residents already did that. I was cheering for the resident while it happened. (inside my head of course)

One big problem I have with this place, and most assisted living places, is that the CNA’s become the servers. To me that’s gross. I wouldn’t want someone to be changing a brief then a minute later serving my food. Yeah sure we wear gloves and wash our hands, but it’s still gross. At least in my mind. They also have a hard time telling the difference between who is CNA and who is server. Yeah I’m a server in the dining room but I’m also going to be the one to help you if you need it. So many of them call me waitress and it’s kind of annoying.

I do enjoy working with most of my co workers. There are a few that I want to stab, but on a whole I enjoy them. I love working with Brant even after his crazy Christian rant. He’s a fun guy to be around and we work well together. Val is also a really sweet nice lady. That girl has a voice on her! I couldn’t believe the voice she belted for me and Darko one night. My jaw dropped.

I’m glad I have a job and I know that other places are just like ours. I really like my residents and I think that’s the most important part.

She was reaching over to flush the toilet and fell out of her chair onto the floor. I wasn’t in there because she was cleaning out her colostomy bag. She told me she didn’t want me in there so I left. I can’t stay in there for a half hour while she cleans out her bag. Everyone at work (even the LPN on duty) agreed that my leaving was the right thing. Everyone would have done the same thing. I still feel bad about it. I don’t like it when they fall. I just hope she’s okay and didn’t break anything. She was in a strange position when she fell. That bathroom she has is terrible, too. It’s not big enough for a wheelchair to fit in. I have a hell of a time wheeling her around in that tiny thing. 

I also hate going into another ladies room. When you go in there she expects you to turn down her bed and put away her clothes. She is always complaining about something. The thing is I wouldn’t mind going in there if she actually needed help. I’m not her maid I’m there to help get her dressed. I watched her dress herself while she told me where to put her clothes one night. I don’t have time to sit there with her and listen to her complain. I have other residents that actually need help. 

I’m glad I have tomorrow off. I need a break from these people. 

It’s not that different from working during the week. Weekends should be easier I don’t know why they have to make them harder than they are. There doesn’t need to be three people in Reflections they can do it with only two. We need three people out front. 

It’s crazy and I don’t understand. 

I got everything and everyone in bed at a good time. I had enough time to help Ashley pass meds tonight. I really shouldn’t be doing it, but it’s not that hard. She gives them to me then I give them to the residents. 

Two of our residents just started dating, I think. I saw them walking through the hall hand in hand and he walked her to her room. It was so cute! ^o^ There was also this couple dancing at Happy Hour together. They have been married along time and she is so sweet. 

I guess the other day was just a bad day. I cannot have those bad days like that. In this line of work I need to be motivated and at the top of my game. If not I feel like I have failed which bothers me. It may not bother other employee’s but it bothers me. It bothers me because I actually care about people unlike some other employee’s. I hate it when I do a terrible job. 

I want it to be Monday so I can have a day off. Tonight is going to be a good night. I’m going to get all my shit done and I’m going to work my ass off. 

Tomorrow I’m suppose to meet Tan for brunch. I’m not going to see much of him this weekend since I’m working. 

I found out why he didn’t want to come over last night. It wasn’t anything dad said, it’s how he felt. I guess he freaked out a little bit because he messed up a part during one of the songs. He let it get to him and he didn’t want to come over and have to talk to dad about it. I don’t blame him. I’m just glad dad didn’t do anything to not want him to come over. I wish I could have seen him, though. 

I’m motivated and ready to get this workday done and over with. I want to see him tomorrow! 

This is shit that I know I shouldn’t be doing or should have done yet didn’t do it. It’s just little things but I know I can do better. I need to just do the job the way I do it instead of trying to be like other people. I can do better than what I think I can. I always amaze myself with what I can do. I just hate not doing things that I know I should have done. I knew yesterday wasn’t a good day for me, but damn. I was really out of it yesterday. Everything was screwed up because our regular med tech wasn’t there. Also, this one annoying girl was. She likes to think, ‘Oh I did all this work now I’ll leave the rest for you.’ She gets her shit done, but she’s not fun to work with.

On another note I didn’t get to see Tan tonight. :( He was going to come over, but something happened and he can’t. I don’t know if dad told him no or what happened. He said he would tell me later. I hate when he does that he does it all the time. 

I can’t wait to get in my apartment so he can come over more often. We haven’t had sex in almost two months. I need that connection. I miss feeling him sleeping next to me. We haven’t been able to do that very often. I miss him. 

I just need to stop being myself at work. That’s when I get in trouble if I’m myself because then I won’t get shit done. 

His phone is turned off and he missed practice. I hope everything is okay. 

*sigh* Why does he like to worry me so?